Preface:
This is the official tour report for Edenbridge U10s following their successful mission to the Bognor Regis Leicester Tigers Challenge where, in the words scribed in a letter that Julius Caesar wrote to the Roman Senate in 46 BC, after achieving victory in his short war against Pharnaces II of Pontus at the Battle of Zela, ‘Veni, vidi, vici’ or translated for Mr Hall ‘they came, they saw, they conquered!’

Those who have read this author’s match report from last year will know that care is taken to hide details that may get people in trouble with wives and girlfriends and that every effort will be made to ensure that those who made ‘Jumping Jaks’ (yes – Butlins spelt it without a ‘c’) their own on the Friday night/Saturday morning will remain nameless (Gareth Roberts). Though this is primarily related to the U10s, I am sure that many other age groups will get some special mentions. Like every other great sequel, Jaw II, The Godfather II, Return of the Pink Panther, I will try to make this fresh and will therefore do my best not mention things mentioned in last year’s report.

Report:
Once again the ranks of Edenbridge RFC set off on their 2015 rugby tour for the hedonistic delights of Bognor Regis and the shiny pavilion of Bognor Butlins. This year the U10s took a number of hardened veterans from the 2014 Tour, Freddie, Sam, Eli, Harry, Henry, Ben W, Ben A and Monty, experienced in the format of a tour and more importantly the workings and opening times of the Sports Bar and arcade. This year the squad had been strengthened with new blood, Ethan, Joseph, Jonny, Josh, Matty and Alex whose heads had been filled with tall tales of unlimited fast food and an endless supply of £1 coins from dads eager for their children to enjoy themselves (somewhere else). It was also great that this year Julian and his coaching team brought the U9s who helped to make this a proper Edenbridge Tour – it was great to have you on board!

The only potential down side this year was the sad loss of an experienced and integral 2014 tourist in the handsome (his word) shape of Dominic Liggins who had surprisingly chosen a family holiday in Disneyland over a weekend with us in Bognor. We need not have feared since we soon forgot all about him but it would have been nice to have had Joseph with us. Most importantly, Dominic’s ‘partner’, Lee showed no signs of ill effect through this temporary separation. We will ensure that Dominic has next year’s date a lot earlier so that he does make such a ‘school boy’ error again.

Friday afternoon and early evening saw the gathering of the Edenbridge clans who this year choose a new assembly point and, taking advantage of the early spring sunshine gravitated to the outside seating area of the ‘Beachcomber Bar’ (where we near a beach?) which was to become our early evening home throughout the tour. Despite having met at the Sports bar last year and with so many new tourists, everyone showed incredible powers of telepathy to know exactly where and when there was an offer of a first round.

After the initial welcoming rituals and renewal of bonds that go hand in hand with such occasions and having decided on lager or bitter as the weekends beverage of choice, our attention soon turned to the question of our tour shirts!! Having looked like a bunch of misfits last year with ‘Bournmouth 2012’ tour shirts looking a little out of place we entrusted our appearance into the hands of part-time rugby kit shop owner and haute couture designer Mark.

We eagerly awaited the unveiling of the shirt but couldn’t shift Mark from his Guinness, a situation further exasperated by Raj getting involved and further annoying the sensitive Karl Lagerfeld of Akuma kit design. Eventually, Mark left and returned with a trolly loaded high with cardboard boxes with our shirts and what a wonder they were to behold – the white horse of Kent snarling from its nostrils, a triumph of design and a great portent for the success to come on this tour.

A huge thanks to the club for providing these for the boys – they looked and felt a million dollars! For many the distribution of shirts started an amusing game of shirt swapping. For future tours if you find yourself torn between Large or Extra Large or indeed Extra Large or Double Extra Large then like your McDonalds meal – always go for the largest. For many with a middle age gut the trying on of these skin tight shirts was neither an easy nor a pretty process. A huge thank you to Raj who swapped his 2 XL with Al and to Al who then swapped his 2 XL with the author. I do not think I could have breathed in for 3 days!

Shirts distributed, we settled down to a pleasant evening of chat and banter before the cold and hunger led us to moving on to the culinary delights of Burger King en route to the mecca of fun that is the Sports Bar. Walking into this venue felt like being reacquainted with an old and faithful friend. This positive feeling was enhanced by finding that a jug a 4 x pints of lager was 50p cheaper that 3 x pints – you have to love Butlins!

Everyone soon settled down to a night of beer, pool, bowling and sports watching – if Heineken did rugby tours………… Slowly but surely tourists slopped off for bed and wished everyone a good night’s sleep in anticipation of the battle that was to come on the Saturday.

Everyone that is except for an elite band of tourists, the SAS of the Edenbridge tour party, who led by a number of high profile committee members, and bereft of their women folk, felt drawn to Butlins very own in house discotheque, ‘Jumping Jaks’- a venue that claimed on its entrance to be ‘swinging!’ If it was apartment keys in a pot they were anticipating then they were to be disappointed.

Regardless of the lack of atmosphere or indeed people they stayed until closing time enjoying the company of a stag do and the 2 ladies (though no one was sure they were ladies) who managed to resist the allure of the Edenbridge tour shirt. Finally, with nowhere else open, the final tourists hit the sack, everyone dreaming of raising that trophy in 2 days’ time.

Morning came all too fast but with those playing in the morning having to cope with heavy rain, while those playing in the afternoon took advantage and enjoyed a leisurely lie in and in the author’s case, a lovely fry up to prepare us for the day. With a belly full of bacon and eggs we took full advantage of the facilities with a trip to the pool with mums, dads and kids racing down the slides and laughing at tour mates as they plopped out unceremoniously from the space bowl – a great time had by all!

It was though, soon time for more serious matters and off we set to begin what we had come here for – to take the Tigers Challenge Title back to Edenbridge. Having ended day 1 last year in last place we were keen to make a more positive start and put the boys through their paces in their warm up. The tournament started with a game against Melton Mowbray and our U10s put the pie boys to the sword with some stunning play and major contributions from all boys – individual tributes to the squad will be made at the end of the report. The result of 4-2 to Edenbridge not doing justice to the dominance of our team – who could do nothing about a Melton try, that was to be recognised later in the awards ceremony, by a bullocking run by their big lad, who clearly appeared to enjoy the culinary contribution to the world of Melton Mowbray, who powered over the line from close range.

This good start was soon topped by a 6-0 victory over Chicester RFC whose resistance crumbled quickly faced with our pace and power and whose coaches has clearly left their bottle at home and called for the game to end with 5 mins to go!! Shameful. It was then time to face an old and regular foe in the shape of the Aylesford Bulls whom we drew with in last year’s tour. This year though the white stallion was to prevail over the bull and after a difficult first half where we had forgotten to play to our strengths and run it wide, we eventually found our rhythm and prevailed 5-1. The match being made most memorable by Harry’s touchline run and try making off load to Jonny that had the referee taking down Harry’s name as one of his players of the tournament – a great day of rugby and Edenbridge U10s in first place by points difference over Daventry 2s (really their 1s).

News soon spread of more success from Edenbridge with U8s and U11s unbeaten and in line for silverware. Despite 3 wins and a bubble gum covered ice cream of celebration the spectre of Daventry 2s (really their 1s) who had also secured 3 wins lurked on the U10 horizon - but that was for another day – tonight was about celebration!

So it was back to Butlins and a reacquaintance with the Beachcomber prior to our club meal at the Coast Restaurant with a sumptuous eat all you can buffet supper allowing you to combine nuggets with roast dinner and pasta with fish and chips – something for everyone but salad only for the few. A huge thank you to John for organising such a superb venue for our meal. With the boys sat on one side and the adults on another we can only assume that the boys acted appropriately when faced with an eat all you can, help yourself buffet that included chips! One young lad enjoyed his eat all you can buffet so much that he had to bring it up all over the place in order to make room for some more. Just a shame that Ceri hadn’t been more observant as he choose to slide in the aftermath but how pleased he was that he brought a spare pair of jeans!

Congratulations to Ben A for successfully combining a doughnut with brown sauce. It was also good to see the boys experimenting with the coffee machine – no doubt this was the reason why so many of them stayed up late! A lovely meal was finished off by the moving words of Chairman Roberts who thanked the important people and presented John with the best port and scotch that money can buy (in Spar).

It was now a long established Edenbridge tour tradition to combine rugby with wresting and it was off to Reds Entertainment venue to catch the end of a live wrestling bout that had to be seen to be believed – never again will I use a large step ladder in the same way again!

What can only be described as a masterpiece of ultra-violent choreography the final victorious blow accompanied by howls of ‘you suck’ was made by a 12 foot steel ladder and then it was off to the relative normality of the Sports Bar before heading off to our apartments and night of dreaming of what could be the following day – just 2 more wins needed.

Jumping Jaks was a little bit emptier than normal that evening! Sunday arrived with the sun shinning and it was off for an early start for the U10s. Early indicators did not look good in our warm up as cold turkey had clearly set in to those who had over dosed on latte and cappuccino the night before. But we need not have feared once the wiff of competition hit. Game 4 saw us against Daventry 1s (who were their 2s) in what can only be described as men against boys and the 6-0 margin was reached by half-time.

Unlike Chicester the Daventry coaches had more fight and pride and continued to play on and despite asking the boys to ease off a little, our line was never threatened and we ran out 12-0 winners.

Our euphoria though was short lived when camp spies reported that Daventry 2s (really Daventry 1s) had run out 6-0 winners over Aylesford Bulls and a winner takes all game beckoned! It was time for serious talk and a Churchilian speech of epic proportions that even had the parents up for a game. What followed was another dominant performance for the Bridge that clearly had the opposition intimated from the outset. Early stoppages for injuries saw us miss out on early tries but Daventry could not cope in any facet of the game and we ended up convincing winners at 3-0 with Daventry never threatening our line.

As in all games, everyone played and everyone did their bit – thanks to the parents for their tremendous support. Joy was doubled with news of U8 victory and we enjoyed watching U9s finish with a tremendous win. It was then time to support the U11s in their top of the table victory against Lisburn and we headed back to Butlins confident that a third trophy would be coming back to Kent.

With an awards ceremony at 3.00pm and in need of a celebratory beverage it was a quick shower in a can and white shirt and club tie on before heading off to the ‘Diner’ for a US inspired meal made memorable by Mark’s ‘tickle my ribs’ bib. It was then off to Reds for the awards ceremony and the anticipated presentation of 2 of our 3 awards.

A feverish crowd of boys were fired up by lights and smoke that welcomed the introduction of Leicester Tigers legend, Louis Deacon. Medals and trophies were awarded to each age group until the U10s were called up on stage to collect their trophy that was held aloft by Eli to the deserved applause of all gathered in Reds.

Photos followed from justly proud parents and Jonny and Freddie thought they were at Wembley as they kissed the trophy. As with every tour the end of the presentations saw divisions in the tour party as many wished their farewells and headed off into the sunset.

A small but none the less hardy group remained to ensure that the Sports bar remained Edenbridges for one more night. For those who remained, Monday brought a day of enjoying the free activities and swapping hundreds of pounds of arcade tickets for half a dozen packs of Haribos! Thanks to the organisers, the club for the shirts, parents for supporting, fellow coaches for inspiring the youngsters but most of all to the boys for magnificent rugby and exceptional behaviour – we were very proud of you all.

See you all there next year!

Individual reports:

Ethan - An exceptional player and a great addition to the team. Pace, power and superb hands and a strength that saw him drag defenders over the try line with him. Inspires his fellow players with confidence.

Josh - Combative and aggressive and always prepared to do the dirty work and to rip the ball and take the opposition head on. Always adds a ‘go forward’ to the team – has no fear and is lion hearted in defence.

Joseph – Another tremendous addition this year and an impressive performance on the wing. Possessed of a bewitching running style that sees him break tackle after tackle and securing great tries. Always disciplined in defence and encouraging those around him.
Monty – An all-round player who never let anyone down. Has a safe pair of hands and added direction and pace to the back line moving it wide and show great support running keeping many important moves alive.

Freddie – Fulfilled a vital role at scrum half. With a quick brain and silky hands he moved ball smoothly and fearlessly from ruck and maul to launch his attacking players. Reads the game exceptionally well and is a key decision maker.

Harry – A power house of a player whose runs and rucking were instrumental in intimidating opponents. There is a lot more than just power though as subtle off loads and side steps drew in defenders before the killer pass was made. Fast becoming the team’s talisman.

Henry – Quick comfortably his best performance in an Edenbridge shirt. Won numerous ball including key interceptions and though often caught near the opposition line he always had the awareness and forethought to give try making passes. Played the touchline well and always set up clean ruck ball.

Alex – An all-round strong contribution with sharp, direct running that added genuine injections of speed into our attacking play. Though an exciting attacker it was the ruthlessness of his tackling that shone. An unselfish player that bring out the best in others.
Ben W – played his full part in the wins and took the responsibility for running the ball direct at the opposition and sapping their strength through the need to bring him down. Superb rucking and presentation of the ball for his scrum half. Another talismanic figure.

Eli –a fully committed and no nonsense player who does the simple things well and who contributes significantly to the team. Runs straight, rucks hard and is amongst the best tacklers in the team.
Jonny – An intelligent rugby player with a mature reading of the game and an all-round talent that makes him such a reliable scrum half and a pivotal link between forwards and backs. Has a super pass and a side step that can rip defences apart.

Ben A – the pace of the team and an ever present threat on the wing who always makes ground and provides great ‘go forward’. Did his part in defence as well and was strong and disciplined in his part of the defensive line.

Matty – the true enforcer of the team with an ability to rip the ball clean from even the biggest of the opposition. Played like an international number 7 winning the ball at will on the ground and providing endless ball for his team.

Sam – Quite simply an inspiration and always at the sharp end making himself a thorough nuisance. No one tackles harder and ability in the ruck is essential to our dominance of opposing teams. Great dummies and clever off loads brought other attackers into play. Fearless!